i'm sick of making angels...

december 16, 2009

so i have made about 300 angels-and though i am super happy to help do something of worth for my parents, i have had my fill of angel shaped weird paper clips, have taken a jillion pictures of arty silver beads (angel heads) and shaking them to make kinetic cool pics. i got old navy's "jingle jammies" (thermal red henley shirt and santa pj pants) and wore them today. yay. i do love all things pj-but damn-being stuck in the house and only wearing pjs (and super extra big ones at that just SUCKS...i actually dreamed twice in the past few nights of putting on a cute outfit, putting on and buying fun makeup-which i can't wear-lovely fibromyalgia has made my skin such (in combination with the medicine i'm on) that wearing makeup just mucks up my sensitive reactions-like those to lights/noises/scents like my mom's hairspray, etc. my word-yesterday i could smell her hairspray-and she isn't one that ruins the ozone layer-she uses just a bit and it used to smell nice to me but dammmmmmmmnnnnit, no more-i can smell it up in my room, with door shut-just through i guess the vents and where chai bunny has eaten the carpet under my bedroom door down to the subflooring. shit.

i got the film "fur" tonight on a recommendation from a good friend today from netflix-and i watched a bit of it, and an hbo thing on the dvd about what the story is about-and i am super excited. i'm in too much pain right now to do much, and tried to watch but couldn't focus enough to pay the attention it deserves...so amy b. r...i will absolutely let you know what i think! just watching the small bit i did made me think "hmm...i think that this will really change/impact my life and my wish to be a writer/artist somehow". let's hope it does! hey-that is what this blogging is all about, right??? i mean, i just haven't been able to write my book about my essays of hilarious true things from my past as i just dissolve at the fact that i am NOT THERE ANYMORE, and so i figured that if i could start off dealing with the demons of chronic illness, fibromyalgia, and the other painful illnesses i have, that is a good start, and hopefully the book writing will come. my dream is to become the female david sedaris. hell, if i even got a book like one of his published or even written, i'd be thrilled.

chai bunny has just hopped up to my bed-but not before thumping to warn me of his arrival. she is licking me, my face, my sweater, etc. showing me love-ahh-the love of a pet-and at that-a drama queen bunny! and off she goes, to eat, play with her stuffed but real to her animals, and to dream of whatever bunnies dream of. i'm including in this some photo booth pics of me (or i'll pick one) of me in my santa pants and santa hat-but feeling the pain and sadness that dwell in me 99% of the time, and one of me the crazy angel maker...and maybe one of chai the nutty bunny. xxx, witty gritty invisible girl