Fibromyalgia, I am constantly fighting you. I take loads of medicines, & they don't work. The pain killers I take have lost their helpful edge. The ice packs I use daily, hourly, cannot keep the inflammation at bay. My neurologist monthly as he does a live x-ray of my back, shoulders, neck, spine, etc is stunned that the injections he gives me don't keep the inflammation away for more than a few days. I fight & undergo painful spinal injections, & every 3 months ungodly painful radio frequency ablation. I do all this, plus gain weight from the medicines & injections, to fight you. You sit in amusement, laughing at our bumbling attempts to fight. You are exquisite in your own way. You mimic other diseases, embarrass your victims when their doctors & pharmacists think they are just drug seeking, wanting pity, or hypochondriacs. You are a puzzle I doubt will ever be solved, as you spread your symptoms in so many different areas...muscular, auto-immune, neurology, rheumatology, & countless others. Everyone seems to be looking at one area instead of them all. I'm so tired of fighting. Putting on a happy face then crying in private. Missing family gatherings, job offers, even just going to dinner or a movie. I want revenge-not just for me but all of my friends who you have claimed as your own. & now, I must get ready to go see the neurologist. To get 2-4 injections where the swelling & bone spurs are the worst. I have to tell him about an embarrassing symptom that has come back in a new way, & cry as people stare in the waiting room as just sitting in the chairs there cause such pain.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Bunny flop

Rabbits, whether in your house or in the wild, will in complete abandon flop on their side next to another rabbit, or in this case, a bunny slipper I used to wear. Chai bunny, my dear sweet bunny, when she knows she is totally safe will hop in a circle around the stuffed rabbit of her affection & then after licking it will flop on her side, sometimes so hard she ends up on her back with her paws up until gravity pulls her back down. Without a care in the world she will lie there, licking away at the bunny before she finally gets on her stomach & goes to sleep.



I can only dream of a day that with no worries, no or little pain, I can flop with complete abandon, & lick, kiss, or hug my substitute for a stuffed bunny love & fall asleep knowing I am totally safe.



Things I'm digging this week:
*Catching up on 'True Blood' season 3
*The gorgeous hydrangeas in our yard

Things I'd like to take a shovel to...
*Insurance not covering crucial meds for my bone loss
*Droughts...I hate when it doesn't rain for much too long

Seed me:
*I really want to learn to play chess

Randomly
*I can't wait for tonight-'The Killing' & then 'Game of Thrones'

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:My room watching the floor