Technology & dreamland

My dad & I had a discussion about how the power of technology was scary to him...the amount of power it wielded. I understood his points, but then I told him what technology had done for me in the past 24 hours. I had been stranded in a snowy mountain inn, & survived. I was in the middle of the desert & saw what stars really looked like without a town around. I had zip lined, jumped over walls & objects in a game called 'Mirror's Edge', & had run faster & more purely than my own body has been able to do in at least a decade. He had seen me earlier, in so much pain it hurt to breathe. I was getting ice packs, & later, having this conversation, I told him that minus the ice & pain meds, technology was able to take my focus from the pain to the places mentioned above. He then honestly confessed he had never thought of it that way.




All of us dream, but many don't remember our dreams. I would pay anything I had to not remember the hellish things I dream about. My neurologist tells me that they are stress & anxiety dreams. All I know is that at times, Chai bunny will thump to wake me up as I am talking, crying, even half-screaming in my sleep. Tonight I dreamed I had come 'home' & found my cat, who has been dead now since February 1st, dead inside a snake's stomach, & it was my fault because somehow I had not been home in time to care for them, & that my other pets I had in this dream were either starving, without water or food or were also being eaten in front of my eyes by snakes...unless they were already withered up & dead. In the dream I was trying to pull out my live pets out of the snake's mouth, while trying to not get bitten, not for my own safety but so that I could rescue them all & get them to food, water, & safety. I know that this is coming from 1-my fear of what will happen to me or 2-that my life & health are so out of control that I'm drowning.



I hate going to sleep now. I can't remember the last time I haven't remembered my dreams or had a normal one. If I don't sleep my fibromyalgia gets worse, but if I do, well, you have an example of what happens. I'm so thankful that after I do wake up, I can grab my iPad & try to just melt away, into some game's life or a gripping movie that promises not to let go of me.

Things I'm digging:
*Sales on games to give all my abandon to on a holiday weekend
*All those who gave or are giving their lives in the military...my pain is nothing in comparison

Things I'd like to take a shovel to:
*Fear, stress, & that whole lot

Seed me:
*Can't wait to catch up on my civil war app, & really get a day by day account

Randomly
*Who doesn't love holiday TV marathons? Please let me find some good ones




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Location:Bed